Connecting

I can remember my parents having parties when I was young that would last into the wee hours of the morning. There would be music, lots of food, and laughter. Some were themed parties. Some were just last minute get togethers so blow off some steam. I grew up thinking my parents were just social people and loved a good party. As an adult I’ve come to understand that it was more about connecting. I often get comments about how I know so many people in so many different walks of life. Its because I was taught to connect with people. Connecting with someone can be as simple as a hello. A smile. I like acknowledging others.

My brother Nick has the cutest greetings. You may get an ‘oh hello.’ or a ‘Hi!!’ followed by a slobbery kiss on the hand. He loves to wait by the door and open it for visitors. He loves to give hugs and shake hands. He loves to connect. As his health has declined it takes him longer to recognize someone. Sometimes its a good ten minutes before I get an ‘oh hi Karen.’ But once he has, he wants to make sure that everyone connects with me. He is introducing me to our mother, ‘Mom, you met Karen before?’ Or telling our Dad that I am there. He has a gift for making someone feel important and loved.

 

Making someone feel noticed and important is more a gift to yourself than to the person. I love the quick conversations I get to have at the grocery store over avocados with a woman that turns out to be a cook at Ixtapa. Or the quick look of understanding with a woman trying desperately to calm her screaming toddler. I think that as a whole, we discount the need people have to connect with others. The other day I woke up in a terrible mood. No reason for it, just plain cranky. I went to the grocery store just mad at the world. And then I ran into my friend Karlee. Karlee is one of those women that you want to hate because she is gorgeous and soo nice, but you can’t because she is gorgeous and sooooo nice. We talked for about 20 minutes and I walked away in a great mood. Smiling even. My cranky mood evaporated as I connected with Karlee and allowed her cheerful nature to influence me.

When we moved back to Monroe last year, we knew very few people. We were lucky enough to get Bridger into a great preschool called Little Montessori totally last minute.

The first few months I didn’t know any of the other mom’s. I would walk in each day to pick him up and think,’ have I seen her before?’ I was pretty intimidated at the vast amount of new people. Evenutally my true nature just couldn’t be held back and I started striking up conversations in the pick up line.  I even would recognize a Mom at Lowe’s or Fred Meyer and say hi. I started to connect. I had a wonderful visit with a friend that I made last year at preschool pick up. We started our friendship over her daughter’s bald head and cute hats. As we talked over breakfast at Sultan Bakery…yes I am bragging…I thought to myself how glad I am that we connected last year. She is a wonderful person and I love talking to her. She is deep and thoughtful, she is funny and crass, she is smart and a caring mother.

Connecting with people doesn’t always translate into life long relationships. But connecting with people can have a life long influence.

 

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